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Posted by "Anonymous" on Wed, January 30th, 2013, 2:56 AM - Never Expires
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  1.         In time past, though not long ago, there lived pigs, in stature little and in number three who being of an age both entitled and inspired to seek their fortune
  2. did set about to do thusly;
  3.  
  4.         When they had traveled a distance pig numbered first spake saying "harken bretheren heed this impetuous realm, tarry we long from hearth and home we shall
  5. fare I fear, *snort* not well.
  6.  
  7.         And so being collectively agreed but individually impelled the diminuitive swine set about each to erect for himself an abode
  8.  
  9.         Pig numbered one did construct his house from straw.
  10.        
  11.         Pig numbered did likewise though rather not from straw instead from sticks
  12.  
  13.         Meanwhile unique in his imaginings pig numbered three did erectus his domicile stalwart and garish a structure made from brick entirely.
  14.  
  15.         soon there happened along ,as is frequently the scenario in classic tale of protaganist pig or red hooded child, a wolf. carnivorous nature in full season
  16.         he called out to the straw enstaunched swine "pray thee little pig, grant me entrance"
  17.  
  18.         but pig one recalled with sage forboding that he is mad who trusts in the tameness of a belly pinched wolf and responded immediately "nay it shall not be indeed
  19.         not by wit or whiskered jowel." prepared for this most expected response the wolf replied immediately " then steel thyself little pig , forthwith shall i endeavor
  20.         by employing means both huffing and puffing to dismantle yon flaxen fortress.
  21.  
  22.         whereupon there issued forth from the wolf an exhale of gale proportions. that quickly rendered straw hovel to dregs and dross(sp) and carried aloft piglet and
  23.         shattered quarters both.
  24.  
  25.         exposed now to claw and fang, piglet one made haste wolf in pursuit to the stick festoon sanctum of peckery secondary (?). causing pig two to cry out in dismay
  26.         "well this knocks my knickers. The marshalling of fevered(?) wolf to my doorstop is nowhere among those endeavors commendable or congenial."
  27.        
  28.         A thousand pardons, squeeled two. *laugh* one. Twould seem the beasts baneful breath has purged me of home and sound judgement alike.
  29.  
  30.         the mighty maelstrom of the wolfs exhale splattered the seconds swine shack and shortened his sanctimonious scolding simultaneiously.
  31.  
  32.         low and behold, squeeled two. stand now we now amid wooded wreckage, tremulous and vulnerable with nary a strategy for eschewing the canine devourer
  33.         looming in deadly proximity.
  34.  
  35.         strategy squeeled one, while tis noble to contemplate tactical particularities, pressed as we are with the time forbiding detailed strategical
  36.         conversations i would urge we run.
  37.  
  38.         *squeels*
  39.  
  40.         Whether by their own fleet footed competence or the wolfs windless attitude, the diminuitive swine arrived at their ultimate kindred neighbors
  41.         expungnable brick ingress unscathed. Upon the third pigs door with urgent hooves they pounded calling out "unbar this entrance and with haste we
  42.         beseech thee".
  43.  
  44.         the third pig hailed from the american colonies. and possessing a vocabulary substantially less robust than his impromptu visitors replied "
  45.         say what?"
  46.  
  47.         "seek we sanctuary" they implored the verge of hysteria, "lest we fall forthwith to the ravenous apetency(?) of yonder approaching carnivore."
  48.  
  49.         still confounded by their importent words, pig three did render ajar his portal whereupon one and two spilled through and collapsed upon the
  50.         threshold innervated.
  51.  
  52.         "so yall just wanted to come in? you coulda said that"
  53.  
  54.         the sinister hist of the wolf could once again be heard outside "pray thee pigs, grant me entrance"
  55.  
  56.         "the wolf" said one and two. "the wolf?" said three, "whatcha s'pose he wants?" 
  57.  
  58.         "he seeks to gain purchase within, and indeed he would occupy this very alcove where but afforded the most meager of opportunities"
  59.  
  60.         "right, i'm just gonna go ask him what he wants"
  61.  
  62.         "under no circumstances" squeeled two, flinging himself bodily against the portal "there is naught to be gained in accosting external opponents, save
  63.         our own immediate demise."
  64.  
  65.         "what did you say about my momma?"
  66.        
  67.         house and occupants were once again engulfed in a malevolent blast of wolfish wind. the foundation shook, the frame rattled, and lo; to the astonished
  68.         eyes of piglet and encroaching scoundrel alike, stood the third pigs lodging undaunted.
  69.         *good news for you pig fans*
  70.  
  71.         agast, and amazing, pig two queried of three "how does, against such relentless and torrential onslaught this domicile endure?"
  72.  
  73.         pig three, puffed out chest tapped a hoof to the hearth and responded "its american made"
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